“I’m a mother of the groom so I’m not important as the mother of the bride.”  I hear this so often from ladies coming into my shop to find a wedding outfit. I know there is an etiquette around the mother of the bride getting her outfit first. However, this can often lead to lots of stress on both sides. The mother of the bride feels she is under pressure to shop. The mother of the groom feels she is under pressure to wait.  Remember, this is not a competition as to who looks the best.  It is about both mums enjoying the day equally,  both feeling equally important and both looking fab.

Surely in these days where communication is so easy, a simple chat to discuss what each woman may like to wear will solve the issue. Is there a colour theme? How formal is the dress code? What setting is the wedding in? The answer to all these questions will help you shape your choices as to what you wear on the big day. It should also hopefully diffuse any tension.

Mother of the groom – top tips

Don’t be dictated to. By default, brides seem to take more interest in what people are wearing to their wedding than the grooms. Often this can make the mother of the groom feel left out. Be grown up about it and just ask the bride if your son is being vague on details.

If you have a good relationship with the in-laws to be – why not suggest a shopping trip with the bride and her mum? Some of the loveliest experiences I’ve had in my shop have been when mums of the bride and mums of the groom shop together. They make a day of it with posh lunch, lots of fun and of course, lots of fizz!

Remember you need to find an outfit that is right for you. If the mother of the bride happens to boast supermodel statistics and you don’t – that’s life. Choose an outfit that flatters your figure and your assets. Occasion wear is designed to do just this – complement the best bits and hide the bad bits. If you happen to be a plus size, there are now some fantastic mother of the bride and groom outfits for the fuller figure. Take a look at Dressed Up, designed specifically for the plus 16 with on-trend styling.

Specialist shops like ours will help you find an outfit that works for you. And remember weddings last a long time. You need to be comfortable in your outfit all day and evening.

And never forget, you are as important as the mother of the bride. After all, your son has made her daughter happy and ultimately this wedding happen. With no groom, there is no happy ever after!